Maegen's Lasting Effect
True Story of an Incredible God Using a Willing Girl
I would love to introduce you to my precious daughter, Maegen. This is her when she was younger. Her smile made everything better. As a young child she would get into so many things. If it was off limits she had to “check it out”. Oh, the stories I could tell. Maegen loved her “crazy family” as she called us. She enjoyed giving her siblings directions (or orders as some called it). She enjoyed creating games in the woods with them and even attempted to design and build their very own tree house. She came up with the most amazing games for them to play. One summer they created their very own town outside and they used seashells for their currency. Maegen, of course, was the Mayor and the Judge of the town. She had the greatest imagination and she was not afraid to run with it.
Maegen met Jesus, personally, at the young age of 5. She wanted Him to be her Savior and she wanted to know Him. As much as a 5 year old can understand, (sometimes I wonder if its more than us adults), she jumped head first into a real relationship with Jesus.
As a young girl in the grocery store she handed out papers that told people how to know Jesus. She would say "Jesus loves you can I give you this?" Of course they would say yes. How could anyone say no to that beautiful smile and those dimples.
This is Maegen “now”. This is our 16 year old beautiful, determined, hardworking girl.
Maegen did not want to do life without Jesus. She wanted kids and teenagers to know the Jesus that she knew. To REALLY know Him.
Her desire for others to know the Truth grew and she had the opportunity to go on her first Missions trip with Hope for Appalachia and she loved every minute. This outreach touched Maegen's heart as she realized the need these children had for the basic necessities.
She was able to provide a HOPE box and then she told them about Jesus and how much He loves them. This stirred something in her or maybe it fulfilled something that was already there.
A couple years later she was able to work at Camp Eagle for the summer. It was hard work and she rose to the occasion. Maegen would ask me to pray for certain kids at camp. She would become so excited when they would give their lives to Jesus. Again, something was stirred inside her.
God knew that this would be her last summer on this Earth and He prepared her well for what was next. She grew in her love for God and in her desire for others to know Him that summer. For that we are so thankful.
Maegen was ready for any adventure set before her. Maegen wanted to travel to India and help the young girls there. She talked about going into the medical field so she could learn skills that could help her if she was able to travel to India. She also talked about opening a cozy bookstore where she could sell hot tea, macaroons and her homemade soaps. Maegen talked about opening a food truck. She knew how to dream and she went after those dreams.
Mae also planned for crazy adventures like traveling to New York City, seeing a Broadway play, singing on The Voice and sky diving with me, her mom, when she turned 18.
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Maegen went to Heaven at 16 years old and “now” she is face to face with Jesus. We are a broken, fractured family. We are swirling around trying to figure out “how to live” now. Everything has changed, everything is different. Dinners are not the same, school is not the same, day to day is not the same, vacations, holidays, movie nights, family nights…..nothing is the same. Breathing even feels different. It hurts and it’s so hard. She was not perfect and she had many of the same struggles we all have but she was an example to me, her mama, of persistence, finding the fun in life and a Faith that is genuine.
I didn’t know that Maegen journaled as much as she did. Don’t get me wrong I knew she enjoyed writing and she wrote many long, sad fictional stories, but I didn’t realize she wrote out her prayers and verses. These things have been comforting and heart breaking to me as we have walked this dark, dark valley. However, it has given me permission to ask God the really hard questions. The "Why" and the "How do I go on" questions. Maegen’s journals have shown me what wrestling with God looks like and that its ok and it can even be good. This is a poem that Mae wrote..
There is Beauty in the ashes
There is life beyond the grave
There is joy in every situation
There is hope with every pain
There’s a soul in every person
There are scars in every life
There is beauty in the ashes
There is beauty in life
Broken is just a word
It doesn’t have to define you
All it does is remind you
of the times when you got hurt
Pain is just a verb
You don’t have to live by it
Be strong and tough it out
Pain doesn’t last forever
and things can only get better
I feel like she wrote many of her journal entries, her prayers and her poems for me. I don’t think she knew that at the time BUT I do believe that God knew and He is allowing my girl to comfort my heart, even from Heaven. As the tears flow, I process that thought and it brings me to praise. Praise for my Savior who loves me through the pain and through my anger.
This place, this website is somewhere you can come and read about a family’s brokenness, a family that refuses to let the brokenness define them, as Maegen so beautifully wrote. We pray that you will also see that there is Hope, always Hope and His name is Jesus. He is the Only way that everything works out beautifully in the end. Through Him, it's all going to be better than we can imagine, I'm clinging to that truth.
“Trusting God when the miracle does NOT come, when there is only darkness; this is the kind of faith God values, perhaps most of all. This is the kind of faith that can be developed and displayed only in the midst of difficult circumstances. This is the kind of faith that cannot be shaken because it is the result of having been shaken”- Nancy Guthrie